Relationships are made in heaven and especially the one that is pursued in the symbolic presence of the Almighty. (Marriages) Everyone dreams of a rosey and love-filled marriage with their spouse but gets blindsided by the common husband and wife relationship problems.
Unfortunately, these issues may even escape the perfect or ideal marriages that are natural to crop up. Sadly, if these unavoidable problems are clouding the love, trust, and respect you have for your partner, you need to reflect.
Believe me, when I say that “A perfect marriage is only a Myth.” Every relationship in the world has a lot of challenges that need to be overcome by the two people in it. As a married woman myself, I love my husband a lot. However, we are two different individuals, and disagreements to tackle have become more like a habit now.
Now that you know, some hurdles are going to interrupt the normal function of your husband and wife relationship. Also, discover some of the things that you should not accept, even if you are head over heels in love with your partner.
Don’t worry; I am also going to give some considerable solutions to tackle them with decency and bring your marriage back on track. (Don’t forget to thank me!)
6 Common Couple Issues in Marriage
You can make as many deals as you want before marrying the love of your life, but things take a turn differently when you progress in your marriage. The reason is definitely not that you or your spouse has changed. It means that you both stepped into the next phase of a marriage.
1. Communication Gap
The inability to have a smooth conversation is a big problem not just in husband and wife relationships but in other types of relationships too. At the time you and your significant other met, you must have chalked out everything.
However, after a few months, there has been a constant quarrel on how to make a system that suits well. All you need to do is sit together and come to a consensus or mutual agreement.
It is easier to blame the other but even easier if you just discuss the elephant in the room. In this case, it could be designating the roles and responsibilities. So, make wise decisions and encourage each other to express latent feelings.
The easy solution to bridge the gap between you and your spouse is to show signs of affection and use “I” statements. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” you can say, “I am sure we can work on our communication.”
Moreover, you can also use the speaker-listener technique, which helps both of you to choose the best way to communicate freely. The middle ground is for you to choose in accordance with your better half.
This advice is not only for newlyweds but also for couples who want to rekindle their marriage after 15 years of partnership.
2. Monetary Issues
When you lead a life as a bachelor, the stress of earning well and savings is never a big deal. Not only are you chill with your current financial situation but open to taking risks in life, work-wise.
However, all the married people here will agree with me that things change a lot once you have another to look after. Now, there are two scenarios in a husband and wife relationship. Firstly, when one partner is not earning, the entire monetary burden is on one person. The second situation is when your spouse is also earning along with you.
In both scenarios, the rippling effect is different. In the former one, you or your partner will have to bear all the expenses for two people. This may tire you in this marriage and eventually suffocate you from continuing in the relationship.
In the latter situation, things are better as it will lift the extreme financial strain from one person. Both of you will be responsible for the things that fall in your kitty and manage everything better. However, note that it remains this way, and shifting the pressure will do more bad than good.
Okay, I am going to share something that my husband and I do to balance the funds without creating a mental strain. Together, we organize monthly “Financial Coffee Dates,” where we compartmentalize, sort, and distribute our money.
Not only do we keep some money for savings, but we divide everything equally to avoid any confusion later. Having said that, it is possible that it might not work in your marriage, so have a lengthy conversation before sealing the deal.
3. The Missing Intimacy
Out of so many features, intimacy, and sexual attraction are some of them that make a marriage different from any other type of relationship. How can you expect your marriage to work smoothly if there is no level of intimacy left?
There could be a high chance that your spouse may view sexuality in a different way. Well, if you expect that you can build an open husband and wife relationship without discussing all the uncomfortable topics, you are mistaken.
If you are holding all the desires, fantasies, and needs within yourself, you are pushing your intimate connection down the drain. Besides, if your respective sexual needs are not in sync, you will operate at different levels in your marriage. (I am sure you don’t want that!)
Hold your horses, as it is entirely possible for any couple to work together on their sexual fantasies. Instead of considering it as one of the signs you’re falling out of love, take it as a positive sign that you are willing to make an effort in the right direction.
Come on! You are husband and wife. Talking and discussing sex should not be a topic to shy away from. Take it as a healthy conversation and work towards getting a step closer to an easy-going husband and wife relationship. All I can say is, don’t let it go under the blanket if you have been facing it lately.
4. The Grave Problem of Infidelity
Infidelity or cheating is something that does not only fall in the ambit of physical dishonesty. Emotionally getting close to somebody else outside the marriage is also a form of cheating. In daily life, we meet a lot of people, some of the same sex and some of the opposite sex. It is a normal tendency for humans to gel with the opposite gender.
It does not count in the category of emotional cheating, but if you cross the line and begin to develop feelings for the person while being married, you are a cheater. And being unfaithful is the worst thing one can do to their spouse and themselves too.
You may have all the reasons in the world for what you did, but the fact that you crossed the line in marriage makes you a very wrong person.
Well, the solution for cheating is before you do it and not after you have committed the blunder. Before the act of infidelity, make sure to confront yourself about losing interest in your own partner or developing a love interest in another.
Moreover, you can make a decision to come clean in front of your spouse and discuss the distance you have been feeling between each other. Tell him/her that this is driving you away from them and is blocking you from them. (Note that there is absolutely no coming back from cheating, so keep a watch on your feelings.)
5. Incoming Boredom
Does leading your life the same way sap all the fun from it? Is it making your husband and wife relationship weak? Are you bored with your partner and life too? Well, trust me, you need a change of scenery, not the partner. (I am not kidding!)
Imagine if I told you to eat your favorite dish every day for the rest of your life, you would develop an instant resentment for it. Similarly, if you follow the same kind of activities on a daily basis with your partner, it is not wrong to feel the spark missing.
However, you cannot give up so easily. Instead of shifting the blames and exchanging nasty remarks at each other, it is best to work on reviving your almost-dead marriage. I have the perfect solution for it.
Personally, in the year 2020, my husband and I hit a rough patch where we felt the spark between us missing. That not only scared me but also made me realize that I needed something to save my marriage.
I immediately took everything into my hands and started working on little yet special things. For example, I introduced surprise dates, candlelight dinners, Netflix nights, adventurous road trips & outings, etc. And trust me, in just two months; we together found the lost love. (It was like falling in love all over again!)
6. Possessiveness Has Turned Into Over Possessiveness
Well, being a little bit possessive makes your partner feel special, to be honest. However, if it is not checked every now and then, it is possible that it may turn out to be over possessiveness. And it is needless to say, that excess of everything is bad.
Also, it is equally your fault if you have been tolerating your spouse’s grabby behaviors. Getting married doesn’t mean that you can’t live a life of your own. Therefore, it is important for one partner not to exercise a possessive nature and for the other to voice your concern if you have to bear with it.
Not letting you speak to your friends, stopping you from hanging out with your close friends, and always tagging along are some of the things that can jeopardize your husband and wife relationship.
Fortunately, I never experienced this in my marriage. However, I happen to see my friends struggling in their respective marriages. The first step you can take to stop the over-possessiveness shown by your partner is to communicate with them about the same.
Additionally, you can share how it makes you feel and how it is going to harm the marriage in the long run. Not just that, you can also discuss all the ways how to be a better husband or wife. Believe me; you will see the change immediately.
The Final Say
Now that you know what is important in a husband wife relationship, it is easy going to be painfully easy for you to spot the things that bother you in your personal husband and wife relationship.
Besides these primary 6 problems, there are some other issues that need immediate addressing, like differing value systems, past traumatic experiences, addiction to social media, too much stress, devaluing respectful boundaries, jealousy, and busy schedules.
Finally, I hope that you don’t have to face all these hurdles in your marriage after your discussion. Oh! It reminds me, I need to have a dialogue with my husband tonight. See you in the next article!